I’ve been feeling pretty down these days for one reason or another.
My anxiety has gotten a little goofy, my sleep schedule decided to wig out, and I just don’t feel like I’m connecting with people like I used to.
I mean, it’s probably because I graduated. Let’s be real: Going from seeing a bunch of people every single day, sitting in classes, having intellectual conversations about literature or life experiences to solely waiting tables hasn’t really been working for me.
My friends are all graduating in a couple weeks. Many of them have been offered jobs or internships. More are leaving the Fargo/Moorhead area to go pursue their dreams elsewhere. And yeah. I know I already graduated. But it doesn’t feel like an accomplishment when even your university doesn’t make a big deal about winter graduates. I graduated EARLY for cripes sake.
Maybe I’m just feeling extremely left behind by the people that I hold near and dear to my heart as they go off to bigger things.
And I’m still here.
Yes. I recognize that getting a masters degree is something to brag about (slightly). I recognize that the opportunities that will arise from this could potentially be fantastic. And I recognize that in the end, this will all be worth it.
It just hurts a little to know that I’m solidly becoming “The Forgotten Friend.”
Sometimes I’ll see people out and about and they’ll literally say things like, “Oh hey Melynda. I forgot you existed.” Gee. Thanks.
I’ve even got some friends who won’t invite me to things until they physically see me and then tack me on to the end of their plans. But I guess it’s not their fault entirely. Maybe I’m just a forgettable person.
Or maybe not so much.
Friends, I got some news this morning that brought a little sunshine to my day. It’s not something that I can really make public at the very moment, but it will be soon.
It makes knowing that I’m in Moorhead at MSUM for another two-ish years a whole lot more bearable and honestly, I can’t stop smiling about it.
And surprisingly, it’s made me confident in myself again. Who knew that a five-minute phone call could do so much.
I’m not saying that this clears everything up. The anxiety monster still sits on my chest, and I’m sure that I’ll be losing sleep again tonight because my body doesn’t know how to be normal, but things are looking up, my dears. Things are looking up.
On an unrelated note, it is my mummy and daddy’s 25th wedding anniversary today and I couldn’t be more happy to have them both as my parents. Perhaps a post will come soon on the two of them. Or maybe I’ll just be a bump on a log as per usual.
Until next time,