I’m really not the dedicated blogging type, now am I?
Except for one month every year, I’m more of the “I’ll-blog-when-I-damn-well-please-thank-you-very-much” kind of blogger.
But even that one month collapsed on itself.
I had a load of people ask me why I fell off the face of the earth mid-November, right at the very height of my crazy ambition to succeed for another year in NaBloPoMo. Even people who I saw every day were asking me what happened.
So an explanation is in order.
See, I had every intention of completing NaBloPoMo strong. But then I worked a 5-3 shift at the diner and forgot to fix it the next day. Then my grandfather died and I spent that entire week (my birthday included, which was going to have a witty title of “Nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three. You know….cuz Blink-182??? Right?? Yeah?! It was going to be a great post…) with my dad’s side of the family at the wake and funeral and Thanksgiving and making cookies and going back to the diner in Fargo and BOOM! it was December and I had failed miserably at NaBloPoMo.
And I died a little on the inside.
Because during that month, during any time that I have the chance to find inspiration to write, my anxiety is at an all-time low. I don’t feel the walls closing in and my vision isn’t blurred behind a wall of tears that never drop.
But you know, it stayed low even when I didn’t have the time to write. I kept busy. I spent time with the people who mattered most to me. And I forced a smile on my face through the holidays even when I would have rather spent my vacation snuggled up in bed.
Until now anyway. Which is why this post surfaced.
You needed an explanation for why I went missing, I needed something to tie down my anxiety over something that only few get to know about. It’s sort of a win-win, right? Maybe? That’s what I’m going to call it, and you’re going to get over it. 🙂
With tomorrow comes a recap of the year on this blog, feel free to experience that with me. Or don’t. I’ll never know anyway. haha!
So until tomorrow,