When Hannah comes to town

Hannah’s in town for the weekend.

And that means I’ve drank more alcohol in less time time than it takes to make fun of a friend for wearing “50 shades of grey.”

In fact, I was coerced a short while ago to help finish off das boot. It was rough. But it was worth it.

I know. That makes us sound like alcoholics. But it isn’t the case.

I hate being drunk, but I love how alcohol makes you lose your inhibitions and say the things that you’ve been forcing yourself to pretend you aren’t thinking. Alcohol makes you raw and real. It makes you be the person that you don’t want to show the world. It removes your mask and makes us all vulnerable and perfect.

So I find myself now, on the eve of A Very Ryan Thanksgiving Remix, sitting in Sulley’s living room listening to all the friends that Hannah has bridged for me talk about their lives and the very real thoughts in their heads.

“I had a headache and she told me to shove an ice cube up my ass to relieve it!” “That sounds like an ice hole enema!” — both lines that I just heard in the past five minutes.

Now I know it sounds like I’m telling everyone that they should consume alcohol, but let me put it straight: I won’t push someone to drink who doesn’t want to. The point of this post is to celebrate the beautiful creatures that people can become when they’ve lost some of the control that they hold on themselves.

“Oh that’s bread. That’s bread! Oh that’s bread too!”

“You’re touching the sliced bread like that?!”

“Sliced bread gets me hard, Hannah!!”

And then the conversation switched and suddenly:

“We’re adults, Sullivan! We need cool facts to have conversations now!”


“I was building a bananagram palace…!”

The thing about these friends, however, is that we don’t even have to have alcohol to make us say these things, the lack of sobriety just makes everything more epic and a hundred times more hilarious.

Tomorrow holds another adventure and a plethora of quotes, so check back in to see where these silly friends of mine bring me.

Have a lovely evening, lovelies.

Until tomorrow,



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