Waitress woes

Or maybe they’re not woes as much as “These are the things customers do while I’m waiting on their tables that annoy me and it’d be cool if they would stop annoying me.”

So contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually hate waiting tables. Yeah, I complain a lot about working at Kroll’s and the bullshit that I tend to put up with, but generally speaking, it’s a pretty alright job. And instant cash is definitely a perk.

But there are a couple things that really grind my gears when I’m trying to do my job, especially when it’s a busy morning such as Saturday or Sunday breakfast rush. The following are 10 things that annoy me when I’m clocked in (and apparently while I’m sitting on my sofa watching Mama Mia):

1. When I come to your table for the first time, I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me get through my whole “Good morning! My name is Melynda and I’ll be taking care of you today. Can I start you folks with a Pepsi product or a coffee?” before you start telling me what you want. It’s the very least you could do, huh?

2. Sometimes my greeting changes and I’ll ask how you are. But last time I checked, “Water with lemon and a coffee” is not an emotion. Which means when I come to your table and ask you how you are, please don’t respond with your drink order.

3. I shouldn’t have to remind you, but you probably came to this restaurant so you could eat. So if you could maybe put down your phone and take a look at the menu while I’m getting drinks for you, that’d be great. With that being said, I’m cool with you actually having no idea what you want and needing more time. But when you tell me that you haven’t even looked at the menu yet, it puts me a bit on edge.

4. I’m more than happy to answer any questions about our menu. In addition to that, I’m willing to alter things so that you’ll be happy with your meal and your overall experience. So PLEASE when I ask you how everything is going as I stop by your table to check on your drinks, don’t lie to me and tell me that everything is fine then turn around and tell my manager that you were unhappy with your experience. It makes me look really bad when he’s asking me why I didn’t fix something for you when I had no idea you wanted that something changed.

5. When I bring you your food and I ask if you need anything else, it really doesn’t bother me to go get whatever it is that you asked for…as long as you ask for everything the first time. I don’t really take kindly to you asking for five different things, one thing each time I return to the table.

6. I appreciate it when you ask for something and follow it up with “When you’ve got a second, the time, on your next pass, etc.”

7. Yes I do hate making shakes. And it’s for more reasons than that I end up covered in ice cream.

8. No. Carol and Eileen aren’t working today. Or ever. You’re not funny when you ask me if they are, don’t let my fake laugh fool you.

9. Speaking of, yes I am shmoozing you in hopes that you’ll tip me better. I will laugh at your jokes, tell you that your sweater is adorable, and make sure that you know that I punched in your order the least expensive way possible just so it looks like I’m putting in extra effort so maybe, just maybe, you’ll tip 15% or higher.

10. I dunno if you knew or not, but the new standard is 15% for tipping. Also: Servers in North Dakota start at $4.86 and hour. After taxes, we’re lucky if we see much of that at all. So please. Don’t leave me a dollar on a $20 tab. And I would encourage you to take a look at your surroundings when you’re trying to justify giving your server a lower tip because of “poor service.” Is it a breakfast rush? Is he or she waiting multiple tables with multiple people at them? Are they also trying to assist other servers with their sections as well as their own? Perhaps the kitchen is just pumping out orders slower than you’d like. It’s not always your server’s fault for something that happened while you’re dining with us, but I will always try to fix the issue. So give me the tip I actually deserve, not the one you think I should get for things out of my control.

There you have it: Ten things that annoy me while working as a waitress at Kroll’s Diner. And I’m sure that some of my server friends would agree with the majority of the items on this list and would have many more to add.

Anyway, I’ll stop my serving rambles now…don’t want to get too riled up before my shift tomorrow morning 😉

So until tomorrow,

cheers.

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