Have I merely existed?

Today, Young & Twenty posted the following quote:

Life is simply existence until you truly start to live.

And it made my breath catch in my throat.

I know I talk a lot about my personal journey and where I’ve been and where I plan to go. And I like to discuss my anxiety and depression at times. But I’ve been reluctant to talk about if I actually feel like I’m living my life rather than merely existing and simply going with the motions.

Because honestly, I don’t know sometimes. There are days when I’m completely convinced that I’ve got everything under control and that I am living my life to the fullest; that I’m taking in everything that I need to take in at that time and more, and that I’m allowing myself to feel the things that I long to feel and be who I long to be.

But other days, I watch the people around me succeed and wonder to myself if I’ll have my own life which resembles theirs. I want to know if I, too, will be successful in the way that society expects successful to look.

So again I ask: Am I living? Or am I merely existing?

My life has so much to offer, and I regularly tell myself not to give up. Because while I sometimes find trouble looking me straight in my eye, I refuse to simply exist anymore. I want to see everything that I have dreams of seeing for myself and my life, and the only way that I can do that is to keep moving forward.

So here’s to life: Mine and yours. x

Until tomorrow,

cheers.

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