It’s Sunday and I don’t feel ready for the week

How did it become Sunday night so quickly?

Like most weekends, I feel like I blinked and suddenly my entire weekend was over. But this weekend feels especially daunting knowing the amount of things that are coming my way in the next few days.

I should be excited, right? This week is two and a half days long for me, I don’t have to be on duty anymore, and I get to fly back to Minnesota for a much-needed vacation!

Instead, all I can think about is the ridiculous amout of things that I need to accomplish between right now and the moment I leave campus for the airport on Wednesday.

And I wish I could say that all of the things I needed to accomplish were the fun parts of my job. Instead, they’re things like making sure that all of my students left for break and that they know how to follow directions (spoiler: They don’t). And the other parts of my week are the not-fun parts about travelling, like packing (really, this is just because I put it off until the last possible moment. (Ah, yes, procrastination: My old friend)).

Anyway, the point is that while I’m excited for the good things that will come at the end of my week, I am in no way prepared for the first few days ahead of me. Because honestly, I just don’t wanna do them.

So if you see me hitting my head against my desk prior to my departure to Minnesota, do me a favor and put a pillow down for me in between smacks.

Until tomorrow,

cheers. xx

Thoughts from places: My office in Suites

There’s a very high probability that I’m currently typing this blog on my computer in my office in the building where I live because I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment when I hastily left in my pursuit for food.

It’s also quite probable that I just cracked open the chips and salsa I bought at Stop & Shop in an attempt to reduce my hunger as quickly as possible.”Hanger” would be an understatement when describing my emotions about my predicament right now.

“So how did this even happen?” you may be asking, “How does someone who constantly tells students to make sure they have their keys with them get locked out of their apartment?!”

Work-life balance happened. That’s what.

Or at least I was trying to have work-life balance anyway.

See, my employee ID functions as my keycard into my building and into my apartment, so I don’t even have to carry physical keys to enter my living space. However, my ID card is attached to my work phone, and when I decide to leave my work phone on my kitchen table so I can disconnect from work for a little bit and I leave my apartment with out it, I’m locked out.

My only way in: Wait for whoever is on duty to come save my ass or get creative in trying to get in.

I’ve settled on the former.

I wish I could say that this is the first time that I’ve locked myself out of my apartment, but I can’t. The trend? It almost always happens when I’m trying to leave work at work and be independent of it (a difficult feat when you literally live where you work).

Clearly this boils down to one of two things: The universe is either telling me to throw the whole idea of work-life balance out the window, or it’s telling me to slow the fuck down and pay attention to the little things again.

Either way, I’m listening Universe. I’m listening.

Until tomorrow,

cheers. xx

If you want to keep the peace.

I learned a long time ago that if you want to keep your friends, don’t talk about religion or politics.

Don’t talk about things that have religious or political themes such as books, movies, and music.

But there are politics and religions of a different breed. Those who partake in them never wear suits and ties and rarely do they control the cussing that oozes from their lips.

Whether we want to believe it or not, there are politics in the places we work — mine, for instance, a diner.

Now, I’m sure that there are people who I work with who will read this and will go running to our boss to let him know that I’m writing about the diner and it will just add to the list of things he doesn’t like about me.

I’m pretty okay with that.

Because the thing is, while I love the people I work with — the ones who really give a damn about the people that they call their coworkers, anyway — I can’t help but notice the crap that goes on around me.

I’ve been judged for the people that I’m friends with at work and I’ve been told that I’m taking on too much and that’s why I don’t deserve a promotion.

It’s funny how quickly you can land on someone’s shit list there, and for the tiniest of things.

For the past year and some odd months, I’ve kept the peace. I show up on time, work my tail off, and even on my worst days, I end up with compliments from my customers.

But maybe it’s time to start stirring the pot.

My life needs a little more of the unknown, me thinks.

Stand by for a progress report.

Until tomorrow,

cheers.

These days.

I’ve been feeling pretty down these days for one reason or another.

My anxiety has gotten a little goofy, my sleep schedule decided to wig out, and I just don’t feel like I’m connecting with people like I used to.

I mean, it’s probably because I graduated. Let’s be real: Going from seeing a bunch of people every single day, sitting in classes, having intellectual conversations about literature or life experiences to solely waiting tables hasn’t really been working for me.

My friends are all graduating in a couple weeks. Many of them have been offered jobs or internships. More are leaving the Fargo/Moorhead area to go pursue their dreams elsewhere. And yeah. I know I already graduated. But it doesn’t feel like an accomplishment when even your university doesn’t make a big deal about winter graduates. I graduated EARLY for cripes sake.

Maybe I’m just feeling extremely left behind by the people that I hold near and dear to my heart as they go off to bigger things.

And I’m still here.

Yes. I recognize that getting a masters degree is something to brag about (slightly). I recognize that the opportunities that will arise from this could potentially be fantastic. And I recognize that in the end, this will all be worth it.

It just hurts a little to know that I’m solidly becoming “The Forgotten Friend.”

Sometimes I’ll see people out and about and they’ll literally say things like, “Oh hey Melynda. I forgot you existed.” Gee. Thanks.

I’ve even got some friends who won’t invite me to things until they physically see me and then tack me on to the end of their plans. But I guess it’s not their fault entirely. Maybe I’m just a forgettable person.

Or maybe not so much.

Friends, I got some news this morning that brought a little sunshine to my day. It’s not something that I can really make public at the very moment, but it will be soon.

It makes knowing that I’m in Moorhead at MSUM for another two-ish years a whole lot more bearable and honestly, I can’t stop smiling about it.

And surprisingly, it’s made me confident in myself again. Who knew that a five-minute phone call could do so much.

I’m not saying that this clears everything up. The anxiety monster still sits on my chest, and I’m sure that I’ll be losing sleep again tonight because my body doesn’t know how to be normal, but things are looking up, my dears. Things are looking up.

On an unrelated note, it is my mummy and daddy’s 25th wedding anniversary today and I couldn’t be more happy to have them both as my parents. Perhaps a post will come soon on the two of them. Or maybe I’ll just be a bump on a log as per usual.

Until next time,

cheers.